Last year in April, Meesha Shafi took a jibe at Ali Zafar for sexually harassing her and it has been almost a year and things are still cooking and piling up. While the legal team of Meesha Shafi is demanding Ali Zafar to apologize publicly, Zafar has stated that he’d release evidence that will “seal the deal” against Meesha Shafi. Let’s read a funny but thought-provoking reference story which is directly related to this whole scenario.
Here’s a Real-life Story
Now, here’s a story which directly related to Ali Zafar vs Meesha Shafi controversy.
“Benchod, Itnay Baray Mamay!”
Many years ago, ‘BCIBM’ – short for ‘Benchod Itnay Baray Mamay’ – was a nickname made up by the schoolboys, for one of our female classmates during O and A levels.
At the farewell event, the organizing committee was announcing titles for the students. The presenter – in unison with the male audience, which was in on the joke – announced her title in front of the entire school.
“B-C-I-B-M” We laughed, assuming she did not know what these letters stood for. The girl, however, did know. She went straight to the principal and complained.
Terrified, the male presenter met his friends. “Yar, ab kia karein?” Someone proposed that if the principal asks, we should tell her that the letters BCIBM stand for ‘Bravo Charlie Intercontinental Ballistic Missile”.
We were all in this together. All the boys. We all pretended that was she was both crazy and misinterpreting our joke, or a liar trying to smear the boys. We all – most regretfully including myself at the time – saw it as harmless bit of guy-humor.
After all, where was her PROOF that the presenter meant “Benchod Itnay Baray Mamay” and not “Bravo Charlie Intercontinental Ballistic Missile”?
I cannot imagine how traumatizing that must have been for this person. I am so sorry this happened.
Today, I am seeing some of those same old classmates on Facebook – a few of them married men – demanding, “Where Meesha Shafi’s PROOF is that she was harassed by Ali Zafar?” And the whole Ali Zafar vs Meesha Shafi controversy made sense right in front of me.
Sir jee, aap ko pata hai woh PROOF kahan hai! You and your bros banded together to bury it in the same place that the truth behind BCIBM is buried. That is why you tell your wife not to post many pictures of herself on Facebook. That’s why you tell your daughter to stay away from boys.
Some feminists give us the benefit of the doubt regarding harassment that we, men, do not know what women are going through. Of course, we know! We are the ones doing it! We know exactly what is discussed in the room after our female colleagues and classmates walk out.
Save your ‘proof’. The male jury of the internet already knows what is going on. They just do not think harassment is a big deal, and certainly not worth a bhai losing his job over.
Btw, what the f*** is wrong with this society? This whole ali zafar vs meesha shafi thing is cringy.
Who needs to worry about men abusing women when women are doing this to other women.
Stop with your internalized misogyny, stop justifying SEXUAL HARASSMENT.